HEART+          .


Hey 1st time mom! You’re different…and that’s ok!

I attempted to do an insta stories like 102 times today on this topic. Each time the dumb 15 second segment would interrupt my thought! After one hour of trying to get my point across… I realized it wasn’t the platform for it,.

Where did the thoughts come from?

I was instagramming back and forth today with a beautiful friend of mine who is an amazing creative entrepreneur and a first time mom! My heart was so moved by the things she was sharing with me and it brought back so many memories. So here it is! My random thoughts about becoming a first time mom while owning a business -on a random Wednesday [about to be Thursday]!

  1. You are a brand new person: Who is this new person? Who is this person that is tired all of the time?! This person who has good moments and then terrible ones almost simultaneously. Who is this emotional person who can’t stop crying but at the same time can’t stop falling in love with this new beautiful human. You’re a brand new YOU! You feel different and you want to feel the same. It sucks! It does. *Tips I wish I would’ve known: You will naturally want to protect your baby and stay home and nurture them-but…you need to connect with things that feel natural to who you are and were before baby came along. Did you like a morning jog?…Get yourself a jogging stroller and take the baby on your jog. Did you love coffee dates with friends?…Take the little precious baby and have your latte while your friend cheerfully holds this baby of yours. Dinner with your spouse? ….do it! Movies may be questionable…lol, but you’ll get there eventually, for now, settle with binging on Netflix and calling it a “movie night!” DELIGHT in this season…it’s a hard one…. a sleepless one. You’re changing, get used to it, it’s ok, just hold on to the little things that make you feel a little more like yourself.
  2. You are probably feeling lonely: You’re home day and night and you’ll have more time to think and feel. Loneliness is a big part of this new season. Plus you’re exhausted and at times you just wish someone would magically show up with a latte in their hands [ok, obviously this was my hope and dream] and a willingness to let you escape for just a few minutes-BUT the shame of feeling like a rollercoaster and maybe looking like a train-wreck will stop you from calling anyone. After all, you want to prove that you’re a good parent right? And good parents don’t need help…WRONG! *Tips I wish I would’ve known: CONTACT SOMEONE! Say “Hey, I can really use some company and a coffee right now.” Whatever. It sounds silly, but just let someone know that you need them! Simple-but complicated…I get it. But just do it-don’t overthink it.
  3. You’re probably feeling major FOMO: [anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website.] My Lord! If you’re a creative, this is REALLY REALLY HARD! You see a world moving and thriving without you. Your friends are on trips and creating and living and you’re at home, tired, and emotional. Ughhhhhh. I want you to understand something very important. We are all humans, we are all in a different season of life at different times. Remember someone may have already been in the season you are in now, or someone may be going there in the future…but this is YOUR PRESENT. *Tips I wish I would’ve known: Turn off social media if it’s affecting the way you feel. Don’t even dare look at it. Social media [especially in the business world] is created to sell you a lifestyle or a product. It is, most of the time, sharing highlights. Don’t spend your time comparing your situation to their highlights. It’s not that people are being fake or anything like that, it’s business. You wouldn’t show up to work a hot mess would you? So if you’re craving authenticity-call a friend. Another thing…DELIGHT YOURSELF in your new season. Forget about the pressure of posting something great right now and just live your season! BELIEVE ME…the people in front of you are what matters the most, not the people that unfollow you for not being as present in this season. It’s ok to lose a little and gain a lot by being where you are in the moment you’ve been given. TRUST ME…you’re going to come out of this season THRIVING and HUNGRY. Stay present.

Today, I realized my growth in this area, three kids later, I must emphasize. It was 9:00PM and I hadn’t done anything super productive today in my business world, but I’d been super productive in my personal world [which is indeed most important]. Today I woke up and started my day with my husband and coffee and a good ol’ Jesus talk about life and goals. Today, I smiled because my little girl is sleeping on her own for the first time this week…she’s a big girl now! [Insert proud mommy tears]. Today I smiled because I did laundry, folded clothes, put them away, and cleaned my house as I’ve been striving to do [along with my family] every day. Today I smiled because I wasn’t busy in my mind or occupied in my heart -so I was AWARE that my son was struggling and I had a heart to heart conversation with him that perhaps I would’ve missed if my mind and heart were elsewhere. Today, I cooked my husband a warm meal and sent him off to work with kisses and lunch. Today, I realized that years ago, days like this would’ve overwhelmed me to tears that I didn’t accomplish my business to do list-but here I was-smiling in my heart because the things that matter the most were taking up my time…and because I know that God will make room for me to accomplish my to do list.

So…I’m with you friend, in this incredible but SUPER HARD season. You are not alone because there are so many people just like you who have just stepped into a season they’ve never seen before. So-I want to congratulate you because you’re about to become someone you’ve never been. Someone greater than you could imagine!

With all my heart and soul….Rubi Z