HEART+          .

Soul

Marriage on the Rocks

Marriages are on the rocks. I am only one person, and within my surroundings I have encountered so many people recently struggling in their marriages. It hurts. It is something that I carry so heavy on my heart because of the struggles that I faced within my own marriage. I don’t want anyone to hurt in this way. I am constantly wishing I could fix it all! Although I know that I can’t.

Guys…marriages don’t fail overnight. It’s the little things, the little moments that actually build frustrations. It is settle. You’re inching your way away from each other and it’s barely noticeable until one day-you’re so far apart. How did we get here? You ask. It’s decision after decision to choose what YOU WANT. What feels good to you without thinking how it will affect the other person. It’s a core of selfishness. It causes bitterness and confusion and disconnect.

And can we just talk about DISTRACTIONS and how our world is so bombarded by entertainment and distractions at your fingertips that you’re constantly escaping to different worlds and thoughts and feelings while neglecting what’s right in front of you. While neglecting the emotions and the feelings and needs of your spouse. We are consumed by work, by status, by what other people will think of us rather focusing on the way that we are showing character at home.

I’m not claiming that every story is the same-again-there are so many elements to the struggles that marriages are facing now a days.

Here’s the thing, we don’t all have to live in this horrific fear that our marriages will fail. That’s a lie. Not every marriage struggles. But most marriages will go through fires that will either refine them or consume them.

If your marriage is on the rocks…PLEASE talk to someone before it’s too late. How do you know your marriage needs help? Do you find yourself talking about the same topic over and over, and you’re not coming up with a solution, but this topic hurts and causes a distance between you guys…then maybe you need help. Those are flags [red flags] that shouldn’t be ignored. Are you not talking as much or not holding a rich conversation. Maybe that’s a red flag. Don’t try to do this on your own. Sometimes these red flags will come up sporadically, not consistently, so you think….YOU’RE FINE…but anything that isn’t dealt with straight on is still an unresolved issue. It will take root like a small seed that will in time produce rotten fruit.

If there’s anything I can tell you it’s this….TEND YOUR GARDEN. Go through every area of your marriage and uproot the weeds. The weeds are trouble. Keep consistent maintenance. Marriages are on the rocks because it requires a lot of WORK to maintenance. Keep up with your garden. Is it hard? Yes. But the result is worth it! It will be a labor of love and in return you’ll get a beautiful and fruitful harvest that you will both enjoy from.

With all my heart and soul….with tons and tons of prayer over your marriage….I hope that your marriage is thriving and not just surviving. That’s what it was meant to do! And not in a way that is superficial…but REAL! Love you guys so much and I send you all big big hugs. -Rubi Z